Glee Ship Wars
by TheJokernaut
Summary: The Glee club decides they need to get away for awhile and find a place to practice where they can hear themselves better than ever. What place would be better than outer space!


Glee: Ship Wars

A Fan-Fiction by The Jokernaut/rayman551990

One day the glee club was singing and practicing for the glee tournament. The main girl said, "What else can we sing that is by Journey?" and everyone didn't know what and they got pissed off at her for bringing it up. Then the nerdy kid said; "hey, we should go to space and sing in space. We can hear ourselves sing better if we go to space because there is no sound in space." "That is a great idea," said the main girl. Then the main guy said; "Wait, won't we need money for a spaceship?" And then the teacher guy gave a little speech about how they could do anything they want to if they put their minds to it…IN SPACE! So then they were like, "how do we raise the money?" So then they had a bake sale and sang for free and sold brownies and like those lemon pastry square things for money.

They all cheered with glee as they reached the good money point for a spaceship. They all went to 6th, 7th, and 8th period. Then came back and went in the spaceship. They shot up into space. "Hold onto your larynx. It's gonna be bumpy ride," said the teacher guy.

Then they were going fast in the atmosphere and they were all going into way away from the earth until they broke the speed of sound and a huge wave of voice and sound came out and went BOOM. Because they were all such powerful singers.

Then they spotted there enemy ship in mid air across from them. "There is an enemy ship," said main girl and they had a dilemma. Who gets to operate the ships controls? And they decided it was going to be kid in wheelchair that gets to operate the controls since he's already sitting down. Kid in wheelchair was wondering if he was the same as the nerdy kid but I don't remember. He may be the same kid, but I'll just call him wheelchair kid to lack confusion.

Then they discovered stowaways on the ship. It was the douchebags! They snuck there way upon board before takeoff. So they could be cool, like the glee kids and get to be in a space ship. And the douchebags said "Sup." And they ignored the douchebags because they're douchebags who were always getting in main girls way of controlling the school.

Teacher said, "Guys we have to focus!" and the main girl was like, "Yeah, who is the other spaceship?"

"IT IS US" a scrunckled voice came in over the intercom. The teacher, who is like the captain now, said "Put it up on screen," and wheelchair nerd put it up on screen.

It was Sue Sylvester who shall now be known as from now on as the bad lady 1. The entire group in the glee ship gasped even though she is always the obvious main antagonist. "Hey, Johnny" she said "Listen mac, this shit's about funding. You guys are stealing all of our funds and I think I deserve them because we're cheer leaders and you're lowly glee club. This space ship program was a great idea and I thank you for it. But the funding belongs to cheerleaders. I had to use up all of the cheerleaders funding for this spaceship just to taunt you guys because that's what I do."

Main Girl said "you will not interfere with our plans." Fancypants said; "Yeah, we just wanted to sing in space. We are not looking for a ship wars."

Bad lady replied with: "Wise up, bub, you got yourselves a ship wars. I will take you down and your problems will not belong to me ever again!" "Fucking glee club!" and she fired the laser over from the front main cannon and pushed a button to make that happen. It then zipped through space and air at the glee ship it was pink and glowy, went zip.

They had to act fast the zip pink laser was on its way and they needed to live to sing another day.

The main guy 1 said "All power to the frontal shields." This request was accepted and the wheelchair nerd said "yes sir" and he went got the buttons to push to save them from the laser.

She called back; "Very well done I see that you have learned to control these highly advanced spaceships in a matter of minutes. Good, good for you." She said sarcastically. "Ya bunch of losers," She said to herself.

Harry potter got on the mike and asked "Why don't you tell us what you're really up to?

She said; "ok." "I want your ship. You will leave, I will make you. Any resisting will result in one of these fine young puppies getting hurt. We don't want that do we?" Nerd wheelchair kid or her own system changed the camera to show the puppies she had upon board. They were all very cute and it would be tragic if we let any get hurt. It was at this point that the glee club realized that the bad lady was holding the puppies' hostage! Oh no!

"We will not leave our ship, we need to practice glee for the next glee competition involving our gleeness" Said fancypants. "We will not back down," said the main guy 1. Bad Lady 1 then picked up a puppy and put its face on the screen. It looked so cute and warm and cuddly that made everyone go AWWWW. And bad lady had the advantage.

Then Naruto and Saske got together and they hooked up and they were went gay sex with each other. One of the puppies heard and was like; "Are they shipping Naruto and Saske?" Then the puppy got sick and threw up. Then another puppy next to the original one that talked turned to him and was like; "Dude, did you just abbreviate the word relationship and turn it into a verb? Really, dude?"

Fancypants said, "We have to figure out a way to save the puppies." Harry potter said, "And while we're at it, not die!" "That would be good," said Fancypants.

Suddenly, another ship appeared and it was like; "We are the Klingons." And the main girl 1 said; "Oh my god! It's Klingons!" "We have taken the cheerleaders hostage," said the Klingons through the microphone system. Then the main girl said; "Oh no! They have taken the cheerleaders hostage!" Harry Potter said; "Hey, why do we care? They are stinky cheerleaders." "But honey biscuit," said Fancypants, "they are also humans too." And Harry Potter said, "Oh, you are right cheesybread." The nerd wheelchair kid was like, "How the hell can you all speak Klingon?"

So, they set out to save the cheerleaders but first they were all like; "Mean lady person 1" said nameless glee member number 5, "We will help save the cheerleaders if you stop being a meany to us." "What ever it will may take to save my cheerleaders, just do it." "But I can't promise I will stop being mean to you in the future because then we would lose the plot for half of the future episodes." "We cool?"

They were all agreeing that they were cool and went off to save the cheerleaders. "Klingons!" said main guy, "You're time will have stopped soon. Prepare for many lasers or not then we can kill you. But not the cheerleaders. So, give them back and we won't blast your ass."

So then, the laser pew pew battle started and many lasers and space torpedoes were fired back and forth between the Klingon ship and the glee ship and the mean lady with the puppies ship. Then the teacher captain guy said full power to the frontal thrusters and the nerd wheelchair kid made the full power to the frontal thrusters go. It made like a whoosh noise and they went and rammed into the klingon ship. Things were looking good for our glee club.

Then the Klingons said, "No, you're time will have stopped soon. We will make you not win this battle." Then they made the ship go something that is the equivalent of a spaceship going super sayain, but it didn't actually go super sayain because that would be unoriginal.

Things looked bad but then they got worse when the glee's rivals showed up in their own spaceship. It was the group rival school glee club but not our glee club because that's our name, but anyway, their rivals were called Vocal Orgasm and they sing the song almost as well as glee but not quite because glee is better. "Vocal Orgasm" everyone called and they were stunned to see them with a spaceship too! The Klingons and the puppies were confused. "Who is this?" said the Klingons. "It's Vocal Orgasm," said main girl "they're been our rivals our whole lives." "It doesn't matter who they are. We will win this day anyway."

So, Vocal Orgasm did the taunt as such; "hahahaha, glee club, we will kill you now since there are no laws in space and we hate you. Your predicament matters not to us. You have been tough rivals but it's time for this rivalry to end for we will now pierce your faces with our lasers and other spaceshipy-type weapons. And they fired a laser that made glee's ship in bad shape.

Then Fancypants and Harry Potter were like; "Screw this, we're outta here." And they got in the escape pod and blasted off and then went and got gay with each other and lived happily ever after.

So, the glee ship was still in trouble. They had the Vocal Orgasm ship to their left, Klingons in front of them, and the bad lady to the right. They were on the inward side of a real pickle. They said, "ok, so mean lady, you are our ally to save the cheerleaders right?" And the mean lady was all like, "Yes." Then they said "ok. We go now kick some butt." And the mean lady 1 said "k, let do this thing."

But first they then went to go do this thing and went to kill the klingon ship without to harm to any of the cheerleaders. But then they said "Wait, stop!" said main guy 1 since he hasn't said anything in awhile, "We need to have a plan." So, they whipped together a special plan to take the rebel forces out for the cheerleaders safety and then return them home.

So, they did the plan and things happened and they turned to their rivals who were being rivals. The Klingon ship got destroyed and the cheerleaders were all on board and the bad lady said "Thanks for saving the cheerleaders, but I gotta jet, Jet." And with a wheeeeop of blinding flash she went she was back in the earth.

Then the klingon ship was already destroyed and it was burning and slowing falling in space. But I guess the puppies made it home just fine just to let you know. And the cheerleaders climbed aboard and now we had the new characters; cheerleaders that joined the glee club because they realized they could sang and that the glee club was cool and could make them more popular and those characters are; main cheerleader, other cheerleader, and stupid cheerleader also known as stupidass cheerleader. Unfortunately the story will soon be to rapping up so I cannot use stupidass cheerleader for anything though I think that would be fun I can't figure out a good way to include her without making this story sound stupid and I can't have that.

So, the klingon ship was burning and busted and was no longer a problem for the glee club but then they still had Vocal Orgasm to deal with was baring down on them and threatening. "Dear Vocal Orgasm," they letter started to talk in that way, "We having rivalry, but we almost out of gas." Said the main guy 1 "Please stop this harassment so we can survive." "We cannot continue this reckless violence. Please let us reach a peach tree." "Hell no," said Vocal Orgasm. "We are the masters of singing and glee, not you glee. "

"No."

"WE are the masters of singing and we can prove it! Ready Glee? ONE TWO THREE: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS! By Queen.

A big blue beam of sphere and then a shot out of the sphere come out and shot the other ship with Vocal Orgasm in it. It hurt the Vocal Orgasm ship. So they answered back with a song of their own. It was something lame like Nickelback or Blink 182. And went with it and then they shot the shot at Glee.

"Dude" Wheelchair kid nerd said, "Let's combine our firepower with our excellent best in the world singing." And then all agreed do that. Then they did it made it happen to the point where the lasers were combined with the vocal extremities. Of course, it made things go BOOM. They boomed back and forth for awhile in a battle that could have a better description. So that happened, and I'm moving on.

They combined the power of everything and they went backed off as the Vocal Orgasm ship was approached by other ship. The other ship was Vocal Orgasm's bizarro group; Oral Velocity!  
"THERE YOU ARE!" shouted Oral Velocity's space microphone. "We found you , you bastards, now get dead in a hurry." Vocal orgasm said "We admit defeat, we're sorry, don't let them kill us." Then Glee said "No, shove off." But first the Oral Velocity ship took down Vocal Orgasm and they both met an unfortunate fiery spacey death. But it was ok, because teacher said; "Guys, we may not be the best looking people in the world, but we are singers. Singers that sing songs about singing. And no one can take that away from us. We should save our fellow competitors, but unfortunately they were already taken down by their bizarro version. So, we're still good people that just didn't have a chance to do the right thing then because there was no time. But look on the bright side! We saved the puppies!" Everyone cheered with glee for the puppies as the wreckage around them was being wreckage.

Then the main girl and guy got there shit together, went out of the front porch and spat two energy cards into their hands. With outstretched hand they sang at the cards and told the wheelchair kid to fire everything then bring up the front shields if all else fails. They used their powers to zap the other ships and Vocal Orgasm put up a fight with their own singing card singing bastard thing person that spat and sang the beam at glee. But it was absorbed by the glee blast because they had better singing all along.

"I'm so proud of you mother fuckers. All of this work has finally paid off. You killed off Vocal Orgasm and we are the best. Thanks to practicing, being a family, and having a ship that goes BOOM. What the reward? You may ask." Said teacher. "To not have those people die in a fiery explosion, maybe?" said main guy. "don't be silly," said the teacher, "they're dead no matter what, but we are now un competed against in glee. Which is great news for us and fans of the show.

Everyone was good and then the cheerleaders got aboard with main cheerleader, other cheerleader, and stupidass cheerleader. In fact everyone came out of for the post ship war party and they all have a good time and one of the douchebags get jiggy with main cheerleader. So then they went to another room to have sexual intercourse. The main cheerleader said, "I can has an condom." And the douchebag number 1 said, "I dunno lulz." And she said, "lol k." Then glee found out that the douchebag slept with the main cheerleader, who may be a glee now also, and they ejected him from the plane. Bye Bye Douchebag! Then 9 months later Bohemian Rhapsody was ruined forever.

THE END


End file.
